Thanksgiving 2015…

It is time for me to write again. I hope that it will be in line with the original intent of this blog: something to refresh and encourage.

I usually write in the first person… not to appear self-absorbed, but rather, to strive for honesty and transparency, such that others might find a point of reflection when they read.

Part of the struggle is about how to achieve a certain equilibrium that conveys what has been happening inside of me without sounding as if my case were outside of the parameters of normal life experience. Being around others who deal with the grief of loss is a healthy reminder that I am not alone… even in this… especially in this.

It would be easy for me to describe 2015 as my year of loss. It would also be a mistake.

Obviously, my life today is not what it was ten months ago. Then, I was husband, caregiver, and pastor. For now, I am none of those things. My wife, Linda, required constant care up until she died. Concurrently, I had been transitioning out of pastoring a group that had formed in our living room several years before. God had raised up a family to carry on with His work through this particular congregation. It was time.

So… no wife, no caregiving, no flock to shepherd. It is easy to feel like I fell into a bottomless barrel. But sometimes my feelings do not match reality. This is one of those times.

How can I not rejoice in knowing that Linda is in the presence of the Savior? This is not a mere self-protecting sentiment or a way to sugar-coat reality. People say to you, “well, she is in a better place now.” They mean to be polite, but often I would like to respond, “and how would you know? What do you base that on?” When someone has given their heart to Jesus Christ, trusting in His finished work on Calvary for their eternal salvation and given their life in service to Him, then you can know something about where that person is. Otherwise, you do not know and you could be dead wrong when you say that they are in a better place now. The Bible says, "For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God,…"  (1Pe 3:18)

How can I not rejoice in the confirmation that God will raise up people to carry on the Gospel ministry after I am gone? Marvelous blessing! What an achievement! In the work of the kingdom, can there be a greater joy than to start at zero, to witness the birth of a church and actually get to be around when that comes full circle… to the crowning moment of mature and willing families to carry the work forward? Careful when you say “pastors and missionaries”… we are one and the same… sharing the same burden of responsibility to those who will soon rise up in our place. The Apostle Paul wrote about this: "For what is our hope, or joy, or crown of rejoicing? Are not even ye in the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ at his coming? For ye are our glory and joy."  (1Th 2:19-20)

How can I not rejoice in the affirmation that I have received? You see, I have not just been sad. I have felt scared as well. How much of me died with Linda? Did I lose my reason to live, too? What is next for me? It turns out that Greg still loves Jesus… still desires to serve Him… still loves the people and ministry that he has in Cancun… still wants to finish his time on earth with his integrity intact. That narrows my options in one sense, but it also allows me to wait expectantly for what God has in store for me now.

Thankful? You bet.

• Linda is in the presence of the Lord, perfect peace and joy and praise.
• I get to watch another church come full circle, from inception to autonomous.
• I am the same child of God that I was a year ago. He will guide my steps. He has something for me yet.

It doesn’t get any better than this!

"To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent.

O LORD my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever."  (Psa 30:12)

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