"The greatest tragedy of human existence is not to live in time, in both senses of that phrase." My Bright Abyss by Christian Wiman. p. 8
Drink in the moment... Live life to the fullest... and similar trite phrases twist a profound mental and spiritual process into some sort of superficial, hedonistic escapism. As if going on a bender or traveling around the world would get you there. Living now, truly, is the privilege of the few. I am not one of the few... yet.
One by-product of sorrow appears to be an amplified appreciation of joy. Its experience is more clearly defined, more deeply felt, less often confused with mirth. Could this be because we are more aware of how our previous moments of joy were not free and pure? They could not have been... they still aren't.
Our joy, in whatever moment and for whatever reason, never completely liberates itself from the transitoriness inherent to our temporal existence. Instinctively, we sense that whatever motivated our moment of joy may not be there for long... or again. Someone said that "a new hello is just the making of another goodbye". No guaranteed rain check on a set of people and circumstances converging to recreate the moment.
Is it better to live in the moment or chase a worthy goal? The answer is, "yes"... Not to either one as much as to both.
We live in time, are subject to it and will succumb to it. Peter exhorts us to pass the time of our sojourn (χρόνος - chronos - a space of time) in fear (1Pe 1:17). It is as much about passing through in a correct fashion as reaching our destination abundantly prepared for it.
In the simplest terms: the living that we seek is found in a person, not a pursuit... not just any person because, like us, they will not be here after a while. What if we found that special person and it turned out to be God, the "I AM THAT I AM?" (Ex 3:14) Then we will have tapped into the eternal now... joy unspeakable and full of glory.
Being tapped in is essential, but that apparently does not make living joyfully a given. I am still enslaved by the temporality that this physical body condemns me to. One of the innumerable consequences of sin is its obsession with things not present... unhealthy fixations. I tend to either look nostalgically to the past or fixedly (with either anticipation or dread) on a point in the future. It is important to cherish memories and to accrue wisdom based on the past, but I can't live in the past... I don't have permission. Goals are nice, but how insipid they will taste if reached without living before I get there!
There is a road to follow to live in time... before it's too late.
There is a road to follow to live in time... in the now, moment by moment.
For me, the essential ingredient is trust.
It begins with a decision to trust, made in time, before I die, before I waste a life in pursuit of illusory dreams. God gives all of us that choice. No one escapes the consequences of ignoring the Gospel. We made ourselves unworthy of God, a life, or a future. God the Son wrought redemption for all who would repent and believe on Him... a promise of forgiveness and eternal life.
That decision to trust in Him unlocks the door to the possibility of true trust in time, moment by moment. It cannot just be the power of positive thinking, wishing something into happening. There is a solid foundation for celebration and joy, but it is not innately part of us. Jesus is the door, but He is also the way.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways,
and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Is 55:9)
The Bible is a "need to know" book... Complete, perfect, in the context of what is essential to us in this interim, before being called away to what is next. I am convinced that it represents the faintest inkling of the totality of who God is, what He wants and what He has set in motion. What is next is largely hidden from our view. Once in his presence, we will be in awe of the things that He plans and does... so far beyond what we could have imagined.
No brighter star has ever shined
No better hope for all mankind
No higher mind, no not one
Humbly, we acquiesce to the crumbs that He lets fall from His table, the savoring of things to come. Meekly, we trust Him without understanding Him. Thankfully, we accept our fate without clamor.
We are left to rejoice that He loved us and chose to include us in His plans. He bought us a future. He made us participants of his divine nature. He gifted us with the opportunity to express genuine, volitional love to Him.
Truly trusting leads to joy in the victory already won, joy in the assurance that His love has been the underlying motive for everything, joy in His ability to demonstrate that love moment by moment, in a particular, personal manner.
That leads to peace, stability and hope... right now, in the next now, and in the next, ad infinitum.
“And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.” (Isa 32:17)
So, since His perfect will for me obviously has not included dying just yet, I guess I should wish for more time... but let it be time utilized for Him... knowing the blessing that will accrue to my account, knowing that once on the other side, faith and hope will have ceased. This side of my existence will be history.
Joy is always tainted with sorrow. Yet, we can take in the moment, confident that the underlying sorrow will be more than held in abeyance; it will be vanquished. One day, our joy will be set free, unrestrained, pure, nothing left to hold it at bay. “your sorrow shall be turned into joy.” (Joh 16:20)
"Lord, unchain my heart. I long for your fullness now as much as being in your presence forever."
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