Neither "for" nor "to"...

(back from Spanish again, a topic that reflects the confusion that compounds our grief just when a clear word of hope is most needed.)

To lose a child or grandchild is unspeakable grief. It does not seem natural or fair to us that they should go before we do.

In the abyss of anguish into which we have descended, the Word of God offers us hope and consolation.

In the Old Testament, at the end of the famous narration about David and Bathsheba, we read, “...the LORD struck the child that Uriah’s wife bare unto David, and it was very sick.” (2Sa 12:15)

What did David do? He "besought God for the child; and David fasted, and went in, and lay all night upon the earth.” (2Sa 12:16) And that is the way he stayed until the seventh day when the child died.

When he found out that the child was dead, he “... arose from the earth, and washed, and anointed [himself], and changed his apparel, and came into the house of the LORD, and worshipped...” (2Sa 12:20)

His servants did not understand. He explained it to them in these words: “While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell [whether] GOD will be gracious to me, that the child may live? But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.” (2Sa 12:22-23) 

David knew:

• Little children are with God.
• There are no accidents or surprises for God.
• There is nothing to be done for the dead.
• He dwelt more on the hope of reuniting with his son than on his loss.

Don't pray FOR the dead...

Regarding children, Jesus said, “...Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.” (Lu 18:16)

We are not born with a burden of guilt, but rather, with a fallen nature. That guarantees that when we are old enough and aware enough to discern between good and bad, we will choose the bad.

Meanwhile, our babies are more than protected... they are with Jesus... and they are even more than angels!

Jesus participated in our lowliness in order to make us participants of his greatness. “Being made so much better than the angels, as he hath by inheritance obtained a more excellent name than they.” (Heb 1:4)

Those who belong to Jesus are called children of God. And, every child of God can count on a great inheritance: “And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ...” (Ro 8:17a)

What and how many privileges would a joint-heir with Christ have? In part, it means that whatever He "inherited" in His exalted state points to what the children of God shall inherit in their exalted state. “Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him;...” (1Jo 3:2)

Why pray for a dead child? Do you think that he could be better off than he already is? Our little ones that have left us are joint-heirs with Jesus and are participants in the eternal privileges prepared for the children of God.

I know that we struggle for words to console each other in the midst of our grief. However, to say, "may he rest in peace" is to contradict the certainty with which God has promised to grant His peace from the moment the earthly body is left behind and forever afterward. “We are confident, [I say], and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.” (2Co 5:8)

Rest on the promises of God in His Word. Take comfort from the words of David: “can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.” (2Sa 12:23)

Don't pray TO the dead...

Yes, your little one is gone... no, he will not be back... now, he is more than an angel... he is in the fullness of glory with Jesus. 

But, he is not Jesus.

He is many things now, but he cannot be your lawyer in heaven, he cannot do a thing with your petitions, he cannot twist the Heavenly Father's arm in your favor.

And why not? Because your baby did not die on a cross for you; he never shed blood to take away your sins; he was never dead for three days and then physically raised up alive again.

The only one qualified to receive your prayers, to advocate for you, to forgive your sins is the Lord Jesus Christ. “...And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:” (1Jo 2:1b)

Reflection:

• We should not worry about where our little ones are or how they are doing.
• We should worry about making sure that we will be with our little ones forever.
• The only path to get to where they are is through the Lord Jesus Christ.
• The only key that opens the gate to this path is our simple, trusting faith in Him: the only mediator between God and us.

Will you be with your departed child again one day... and forever?

“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life:

no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (Joh 14:6)

“Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God

through our Lord Jesus Christ:” (Ro 5:1)